16 posts later and my thoughts on the topic have expanded much. Thus it is time to do a comprehensive integrative re-definition of my understanding of Romantic Love.
My current understanding of Romantic Love is the combination of Physical Love and Spiritual Love.
Physical Love is the initial stage of Love where human/sexual appreciation of our partner's physical beauty (sexual attractiveness) occurs. This type of love is exclusive in nature since it operates on a conditional "Best Fit" nature. The partner is appreciated and valued as a tool/object of means. Since the biological goal is fixed (namely continuation of the species), this form of love is limited as it is uni-directional, exists in a fixed form and on fixed points of engagement.
In the intermediate phase, Physical Love flows into Spiritual Love. At this point, both are of equal importance. Spiritual Love occurs when there is spiritual appreciation of our partner's inner beauty (moral knowledge and action). It is all-inclusive and unconditional in nature. Our partner is accepted and loved as an "other". There are no fixed directions or form or points of engagement. The point of origin and evolution emanates from a fixed point of being between the two partners' common point of being.
In the final/complete phase, Spiritual Love comes to dominate over Physical Love in importance where True Gratification occurs (both partners grow spiritually) and we are enabled to move towards grasping and practicing True Love through the experience of Romantic Love.
In this complete and final realization of Romantic Love, the partners engage each other in spontaneous and neutral action in full appreciative view of the fragility and finitude of their interaction. The partners love each others as subjects and recognize the possible trappings of ourselves as objects and in turn actively try to overcome such trappings. They then give birth to Love as a force which continues into infinity. Love is indeed all they ever need since it informs and determines its own existence.
To better put across my current understanding of Romantic Love, it is best at this time to state some of our common confusions for Romantic Love.
Confusion 1: Confusion of Methods occurs because Physical Love and human/sexual attraction are innate and do not need to be cultivated. Thus we often confuse and translate its methods to Spiritual Love. This in turn leads us to Confusion 2.
Confusion 2: Confusion of Loins occurs when Physical Love dominates over Spiritual Love. What then happens when we encounter another person who is a "Better Fit"? We then trade up if we base our actions on the falsely prioritized importance of sexual/reproductive goal.
Confusion 3: Confusion of Gratification occurs when others enter into our lives and fill up apparent gaps/voids, it is then easy to mistake that we are in Love as we experience the pleasure of Gratification since a want/need is fulfilled. This is very much similar to the case of Physical Love where a Fit occurs. This Gratification is only temporary and transactionary in nature.
The simple test would then to determine if we still would love the other if they do not fill up those gaps? If we do not, then we are not of the appropriate spiritual acumen and do not possess Spiritual Love for the other. The prevention would be to educate yourself so that you do not need others to fill gaps. You must educate yourself to only need the love of someone and not need anything from someone's Love.
No comments:
Post a Comment