What I wish to construct is an education of how to learn to love blind: past Physical Beauty. I understand Physical Beauty to be physical/sexual attractiveness.
The evolutionary idea of Physical Beauty can explain its importance because it gives clue to the physical health and probability of good genes of our partner. It is the product of good genes and cosmetic upkeep.
Why then would we not pursue Physical Beauty to the maximum? Why then would we not all blindly pursue the most physically beautiful specimen? I agree with Schopenhauer and argue that because it is not merely a case of maximum utility, rather we are programmed biologically to be attracted physically to others on basis of "a best fit" theory, whether its purposes are to counter our genetic flaws or better improve certain strengths. In that sense, Physical Beauty is very much in the eyes of the beholder. Some people are physically endowed so as to be able to "fit" many individuals, thus they are more attractive whereas on the other hand, others are meant to "fit" a more select population.
Physical Beauty however is often not indicative of Inner Beauty, as justified by the Socratean view. My understanding of Inner Beauty is the combination of Moral Knowledge and Moral Action (which is put into effect with determination).
There is then a clash of our reproductive needs with our spiritual needs, our primal love with our romantic love. Indeed, this is another flaw of romantic love whereby the initial engagement may be flawed. Because we are first engaged on a physical plain, we often allow that to mar and dominate our further aesthetic appreciation of the person's Inner Beauty. If we allow our loins to lead, then we may confuse Physical Beauty with Inner Beauty which is not necessarily true, our reproductive drive may invoke our imagination to fill in the then void knowledge of a person's Inner Beauty at early interaction and later counter-refute any discrepancies we should encounter.
I dare not say at this point which is more important since both have noble goals, one the continuation of the species and the other the fulfillment and growth of our spiritual self. As I have stated before, to enter a loving relationship is an unconditional and in turn binding pledge from one spiritual being to another, so to love truly means that one must bear the task and responsibility of integrating the two and create the perfect case scenario of the attraction of Physical Beauty and appreciation of Inner Beauty.
In order to love in an ascendant manner like Plato propounds in "The Symposium", the lower rungs of the ladder would be of Physical Beauty and the higher rungs would be of Inner Beauty. With reference to my previous posts, we find that spontaneous neutral love and de-objectification and re-humanization of our partners can only exist in the spiritual realm of love of our partner's Inner Beauty. In the realm of Physical Beauty, we only value and interact with each other based on qualifying attributes that we find in each other. Since this is based on qualifying attributes, Physical Beauty is in very essence conditional. With conditionality, we will never be able to see our partners in their full glory. Likewise, we would not be able to understand our subject-object dialectic. Our concern is how do we achieve this ascendant love.
First, we must have patience to outlast our loins and indeed endure the possible loss of our loins.
Secondly, we must act out the romantic engagement with appropriate aesthetic appreciation skills: fair-minded, impartial, cultured, knowledgeable, unbiased, balanced and truthful. (as put forth by Hume)
Does this answer the question of being in love with flaws of our partners? Yes! Because to possess appropriate aesthetic appreciation skills, we would be able to be fair-minded and accept. To be accept is to love.
Does this also mean that by appreciating, we judge? No! Appreciation is not the same as judging. Judging involves deciding between what is right or wrong from a fixed point of evaluation. Appreciation involves seeing clearly and acceptance.
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