11. Love: The Often Mistaken

I am going to be adding onto Secomb's description of Modern Love. Secomb rightfully asserts that we have mistaken quantity for quality.

With each new romantic experience that comes and goes, we are not more proficient in loving. Instead, we only learn how to better manage our "hellos" and "goodbyes". In fact, we become more proficient at de-loving, the ability to meet and disengage and not the actual process of loving (the management of the state of being in love).

This is born out of modern realities and mindsets. Secomb states that it is due to our economic lens that we apply to even our romantic experiences, everything then becomes an investment. When the experience deems to be unable to yield, we reinvest elsewhere. I add that our evaluation of the our romantic experiences are informed by the Cost-Benefit Analysis.

Coupled with the dominant Individualist mindset that comes with modern Economic theory and practice, the Costs and Benefits are always calculated and weighed from an egocentric position.

This then is not love. It is, indeed the anti-thesis of love since all calculation takes place from a self-centered and necessary selfish position.

I will be moving on to compare White's take on Post-Romantic Love with my idea of Romantic Love as bridging towards Pure Love.