9. LOVE: Why HATE does not help?

Posit yourself in such a situation. You love person A romantically. For whatever reasons, person A does not reciprocate your love. A very common reaction would include the possibility of hating person A. In fact, it is a very reactionary and useful tool to overcome your love for and pain suffered in the situation. Why is it useful? Because you are fixating upon a anti-thesis of Love and choosing to feel that in place of your unrequited Love. But most importantly, does it help in actuality? Let's carry on with our analysis.

And a large part of you would want person A to hurt, mentally (you may want yourself to hate person A so that person A hates him/herself) and in the extreme physically.

But what would you achieve in this outward projection of your suffering and pain? If you were to succeed fully and ultimately , it would be pointless as the pain would not subside. This is highly counter-logical as most would expect it to be a cathartic exercise.

This is why: By causing person A hurt, you would only achieve sadistic glee (not real happiness). Unlike real happiness, it is contingent on the suffering of another. If you would to succeed in sadistic glee to the point of brimming and culmination, in essence you totally give into and become the pain. You may laugh till you cry again since pain is the root of your actions and "happiness". And then what would you do after you have become the pain and cried/stopped crying.

So since that would not cause your pain to subside and instead render you helpless by becoming the pain, what should you choose?

So how should you handle a position of suffering in such a situation: You can and should choose to own the pain since it is yours to bear. (it may not be right that it is yours but since you have extended your love in hope of reciprocity, it is a very real gamble that you are now paying the price for.)

Next, you can and should choose to learn how to overcome it. Only then can you choose to put it aside one day and not be the pain.

On a very real level, what person A is and does has no consequence on this favor that you are to extend yourself.