4. Love: True Love transcends the Romantic?

Now we are at the being able to love from the standpoint of "I-in-not-I" in a situation of romantic love.

I have to ask myself: What is the advantage of such a level of Romantic Love? And I arrived at a "BooBoo". This is how it went.

Firstly, I thought of the possible advantages that a "I-in-not-I" standpoint would bring into a situation of romantic love.

It would enable a deeper and more meaningful relationship. Without the need for emotional guarding and leveraging and spontaneous honesty, the partners would be able to invest themselves more and hence build more.

Security? It seemed quite natural that a greater sense of security would result from a understanding of the fragility of the
"here and now". Then I asked myself: Why do we even need security?

I realised that security was first and foremost in many's minds because it arises out a natural desire for self-preservation. We want to prevent ourselves from experiencing harm and hurt.

Security firstly would indicate an incomplete understanding of the "I-in-not-I" position. Security is a condition that we wish to possess so that we can hold on to the desired and is not accepting of the true fluidity and fragility of all experience and phenomenon.

Secondly, security also indicates an ego-centric selfish need for a reciprocity of affections and love. If we had truly understood the "I-in-not-I" position and was loving from this standpoint, then Love would be a self-emptying phenomenon and would be unconditional in nature.

Security as a condition of "Good Love" then ironically negates and makes impossible "True Love", which is unconditional in nature.

Since "True Love" is unconditional and self-emptying, it transcends and extends beyond any limits. Why then would our partners receive special attention? What could explain why they are accorded such a special status and position when rightfully True Love extends to all?

This is the big "Boo Boo" that I had run into. And somehow I do not believe that "True Love" negates Romantic Love and renders it as illogical and undeserving of being cherished as an experience which is a good in and-of-itself.

Maybe Romantic Love then is a bridge if you may which plays the role of a Free Agent which allows us to step closer towards True Love and away from Egocentric Love. It gives us a safe realm within which to practice the ideals of True Love with a partner who would reciprocate actions of self-emptying love with a greater degree of certainty.

I will ponder more and be back to write more about this. :)