I have to ask myself

So here I am, a realist-moralist. And I need to know/think about my ideas about God.

First of all, I need to stop thinking of God as masculine. Well, of course it is because of the patriarchal and semantic lineage that has bombarded me since young.

So I should begin understanding that God is not of one gender. This is because by right, God should be the unity of all since he is the creator of all. But hold on, am I going too fast? Before I even begin, I have to ask myself what I understand by God?

Who/what is God?

I understand the concept of and feel close to God when I am experiencing "anxiety". When I sit before the vast expanse and come to realize the vast incomprehensible and the limits of myself. My mind wanders in its yearning to attempt to grasp the incomprehensible. My mind can explore this realm whereas my body is what limits me. So thus from this, I understand that my God exists beyond the corporeal.

Why do I believe in God? The vast incomprehensible does exist but we are cutting down on our lack of knowledge through science right? Phenomenon that we used to attribute to God's actions can and now is explained through the workings of nature.

Of course, this can be easily explained away by God's actions through nature itself and that in turn explains the brilliant workings of nature. This beauty and brilliance is something that I have appreciated since a child but it could also be purely evolution at work.

Evolution. This then brings us to the next problem. Are we proof of God? Or did we give birth to God through the evolution of our minds?

Our Minds. This would be our tool to create a God. So the question is are our minds that different from animals? Our minds seem to be advanced, distinct from animals. It is what makes us human. Our minds serve fundamental functional similarities with animals.

What then is it about our minds which makes us distinctly human? Some would say the ability of us to recognize ourselves as an individual, to conceptualize and to rationalize based on other considerations other than instinctual.

Why then are we special in this respect? Why is it that we "happen" to have this faculty and this is coupled with our evolved opposable thumb which allows for written language and also our windpipe formation which allows for speech?

These three "coincidental" traits are what has allowed us to develop as a intellectual species. Maybe to the point that we had to conceptualize a God.
This then would fit in with what Nietzsche sees as "seeking comfort" in the unknown.

I will be back to write more on this.